Today I am thankful for opportunities to step out of my comfort zone even if I am not so thankful for them at the time. I have a hard time making friends and I have a hard time meeting people. When I meet someone new for the first time, one of two things usually happens. Either I'll get so shy and self-conscious that I won't say anything for fear of saying the wrong thing and I leave people with the impression that I am a b*&%h, or I ramble on and on about God knows what making a complete fool of myself and leaving people with the impression that I am an ditz. So many of my friends (the ones who were brave enough to give me a second chance after our first meeting) have stories about the idiotic things I said to them when first we spoke. For example, the first words I ever spoke to a dear friend of mine are as follows:
Me - "So... are you gay?"
Friend - (Glaring at me) "No, but everyone thinks I am."
Me - "Oh. I can see why."
Friend - "Kill yourself."
This friend has become one of the most important and special people in my life, and we can joke and laugh about it now, but at the time I'm sure that it was very hurtful, and that was not my intention at all. It's just a perfect example of me not knowing what to say, so I try to think of something edgy, and ironic, and I come off as a total b*&%h. Anyways, in a effort to try to make more friends, and network in the legal community, and to just improve myself overall I am trying to be more social. So, when a classmate of mine who is having a baby invited me to her baby shower I figured this was a perfect opportunity. Normally my instinct would be to say "Thanks, but I have plans," but this time I said yes. I almost chickened out a million times in the days leading up to it, but I forced myself to go and I am so glad I did! These things are hard for me, but I have to force myself to do them. Today, I am thankful for the opportunities to grow.
*I'm the one with the cup.
Sad that the weekend is over. I hope that your weekend was wonderful.
- Carleigh
Me - "So... are you gay?"
Friend - (Glaring at me) "No, but everyone thinks I am."
Me - "Oh. I can see why."
Friend - "Kill yourself."
This friend has become one of the most important and special people in my life, and we can joke and laugh about it now, but at the time I'm sure that it was very hurtful, and that was not my intention at all. It's just a perfect example of me not knowing what to say, so I try to think of something edgy, and ironic, and I come off as a total b*&%h. Anyways, in a effort to try to make more friends, and network in the legal community, and to just improve myself overall I am trying to be more social. So, when a classmate of mine who is having a baby invited me to her baby shower I figured this was a perfect opportunity. Normally my instinct would be to say "Thanks, but I have plans," but this time I said yes. I almost chickened out a million times in the days leading up to it, but I forced myself to go and I am so glad I did! These things are hard for me, but I have to force myself to do them. Today, I am thankful for the opportunities to grow.
Sad that the weekend is over. I hope that your weekend was wonderful.
- Carleigh
I could have written this post. This is exactly me too. Shy bitches, that's us. :)
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine the impression that I made on you when we first met. :)
ReplyDelete